Alive and...alive?

In today's news the lead story was about a girl who had been abducted 18 years ago and walked into a police station to let them know who she is. The thing that has really been bugging me about the whole thing is the AP wrote she is "alive and well". Now I don't know all the particulars since they haven't released them yet but what I do understand is that this girl was taken from her family and kept in a shed in the backyard while she was molested by this monster. She bore two children from this fucking sicko and they think she is well? I don't know her but I know she is NOT WELL. She has been physically and pathologically abused for 18 FUCKING YEARS!!!!!!!

Think about how she would have been a completely different person had this mind fuck and his equally screwed up wife hadn't taken her. She is NOT fine. I am not fine just thinking about it nevertheless living through which must have been complete hell. Already her ex step father is slightly blaming her since he was a prime suspect. He doesn't understand why she didn't come forward earlier. Well mother fucker, why don't we sexually assault you for 18 years and see what you do at the end of it. Bill O'Reilly had come out after those two boys were found blaming the older one for not leaving. He then went on Oprah and she didn't nail him to the wall for saying it. That's when I realized Oprah made so much money that she was cow towing to her rich friends instead of actual journalism. I don't care who you are if you ever find yourself blaming in any way a child who has been abducted then there is a special place in hell for you. I will step off my soap box now.

School Days, School days...

Well it's that time of the year again. The new sneakers have been purchased, along with pants, tops, and a plan for a new haircut before the end of the week. The summer started out so sucky with much rain and then my kids were sick the first three weeks of July. I was worried that Fall would arrive and I would have not had a summer. But it's not so. A week up in Smugglers Notch, VT and a weekend at the Cape with no air conditioning has made me ready for the cooler temps of Fall. The kids have whined their way into my desire to have them back at school. This year my youngest will go 3 1/2 days, I will feel so free!

I am a bit of a type A person. I like my organization. I love getting my new calendar for Christmas and I immediately start penciling in all our activities. The Fall bring that promise of schedules and solid bedtimes. I think mothers break down into two groups: those who love the easy loose summers and those who like the logical and planned Falls. I fall into the latter group. I am finally getting in the spirit. I will put one on a bus and the other I will drop off at preschool and will have to determine what to do with myself finally.

New Mommy Obsession

I went to a mother's night out tonight at an old friend's house. We were roommates in college. She got married and had children after I did. I didn't think much about it until I showed up at her house and the entire conversation revolved around children and their: nap times, bedtimes, play dates, and cutest little things they do!!!! I came to the sad realization that my friends and I used to be just like them and that we were obviously just as lame and boring.

Something about new mommies makes them lose their intelligence. It's all so new and scary. You think about it and obsess about it constantly. When you have your second child you realize you were just a pussy and it's really not that big of a deal. None of it, really. They are not that wonderful and no one really gives a shit what they do except you.

I am so glad I moved on. I am developing new interests and they do not involve children and their bowel movements. I actually had two glasses of wine, a bottle of water and came home. That's how boring this thing was. I usually try to take advantage of free booze but this wasn't worth it. How sad...

I Can't Breathe!!!

Yes, I know. Several weeks ago I proclaimed that I was going to be "Fit By Forty!" That was my goal. My birthday is in November and right now all my pants don't fit because I have been eating and drinking with abandon. They are tight and even my shorts are tight. I am planning this awesome trip to Vegas with the girls for my birthday weekend and if I keep sliding down this slippery slope I will have to buy another seat in the airplane for my fat ass. Last year I was pretty good about working out and for some reason last Fall hit and I just didn't have it in me anymore. I'm tired, fat, and embarrassed.

As a family we have been walking at night around the high school track which is great but I'm not actually working out that much since I'm walking 2 miles instead of the 4 I can do and I'm walking slower just because it's novel that my husband talks to me. Also my 5 year old is constantly tired and wants to be carried which doesn't help for forward momentum.

Ehhh, I'm so lazy right now I don't even feel like finishing my thoughts! Nevermind......

Been one of those days

I have not had a good day today. It's started out pretty good until about 7:30 am when my sister in law called to say my father in law was in the hospital. Rushed by ambulance at 4 am. He wasn't seen at the ER until 10:30 at which time we found out he has a leg infection and most likely pneumonia. Now two weeks ago my husband and I paid for my in laws to go on a cruise which will be occurring in two weeks. I hope he will be better by then, I did buy the insurance but I would rather they actually took the cruise. My FIL is not a well man his wife and daughter keep telling me. I do believe them, he had a heart attack a few years ago and he has type 2 diabetes which is why I'm particularly nervous about the leg infection. He always wanted to go on a cruise and we felt that we should send him while he was somewhat able to enjoy it. I had to practially force my husband to go down to visit him. He kept asking me what he should do and I kept saying, "go see your father" but I think he wanted me to tell him to stay at work and not worry about it.

Now in addition to my family issues (which there always are some) my damn dog has been doing this weird nose/cough thing. I called the Vet and they told me to come in at 1:30. On the phone they said it might be kennel cough. I got there and they asked if I could wait outside since the dog might be contagious. Then they came out and asked if I could wait in the car with the windows up and air on so she wouldn't make the sidewalk sick. I explained that she had had this for two weeks and it was my understanding the the incubation period was a couple days. Didn't matter, had to get in my car. When they finally brought her in the Vet determined that she's fine and will probably make that nose noise occasionally forever. "It's like a backward sneeze." she explained. $60 to diagnose a backward sneeze and be treated like a leper! WTF!

Along with all this fun I received in the mail the response to my call to my oldest son's camp. The past three years I have sent him to a two week camp which costs $600. No small change but he likes it so we manage. This year my youngest had a fever while he was at the first week of camp so of course he was sick with "flu like symptoms" the second week. And then the youngest got the fever back for the third week of July. I was ready to kill someone by the end of it all. Anyhoo, I basically paid $600 for 1 week of camp. I asked if he could just make up the week and they said no. I called twice to discuss it and they finally got around to calling me back to tell me that I'm basically shit out of luck and they will send me a copy of the form I signed which explains there are no refunds. I was thinking about sending my youngest there too next Summer but now I am so annoyed I'm not sure I want to give them anymore money. I wasn't even asking for the f-ing money back! I just wanted my kid to have a second week of camp. They are full? It's f-ing OUTDOORS! There isn't a firecode of maximum occupancy in the woods!

I know there are people out there with worse problems than me and trust me I have had much worse problems than this but sometimes you feel like yelling UNCLE! I hate when you start out happy and slowly but surely the world consipres to piss you off. This summer has pretty much sucked. I have a vacation planned in a couple of weeks and I am just waiting for a tornado to come through and ruin it. School starts in 3 1/2 weeks and I'm not ready. This summer has included three weeks of illness, a funeral which I had to travel for, and lowest tempertures and most amount of rain we have EVER had! I want some carefree happy days! I want to have something go easy! I know there are those "think positive" bullshit people out there but I will think positive until something makes me negative. Wine thirty can't get here fast enough.

Child Induced Drinking

I am tired. It's 9 at night. I just want to relax but we must live a nightly production of the 5 year old who won't go to sleep.

Every night it's a different theme:

I'm scared.

I'm thirsty.

Can I take my shirt off?

Can I sleep with my bakugan?

Can you lay down with me?

Can you read me another story?

I'm REALLY REALLY scared!

The doctor many years ago said to not let him engage me in these things but repeat over and over it's time for bed and walk him back there but somehow he knows at the tender age of 5 how to push my buttons into a verbal battle of wills.

They say the definition of an insane person is one who does the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Well here I am insane and drinking. After our typical evening show, I immediately come downstairs and over up a bottle of wine.

I have held him back a year from kindergarten for various reasons but I have dreams that when he finally goes off to kindergarten that maybe this show will have run it's course and a new one will be opening. In the meantime, "Honey, where's the chardonnay?"