What the Hell Have I Done?

I had a sweet easy ride. Sure I complained about being home but I really was in the home stretch. My youngest is in preschool three and a half days a week. Next year he will be a full time kindergartner. I could work out if I wanted which sometimes I did and sometimes I didn't. I could shop, clean, and some days I didn't do much of anything. Any now out of a desire to feel like I am contributing I go and get an internship. I am working a whole 8-10 hours a week and it is kicking my ass!!! I am tired. The good thing is it certainly makes me step up my A game. I have lunches done the night before because I have to. My house is clean when I step out the door. I do usually enjoy it. Today was hard because my boss was busy so she couldn't think of anything to give me to do. I have to say, it is harder to look like you are busy than it is to be busy! I question, will i be able to do this? There is SO much to learn! Is it too late for me? Am I wasting my time? I don't know. All I can do is move ahead and hope it all works out.